‘The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.’ George Bernard Shaw

When we speak, the expectation is that people are listening to what we say because when they speak, we are listening to them.

Is this true?

How often do you fully listen to what someone is saying to you? Most of the time, in a conversation, we are planning our reply or thinking of what witty response we’ll make.

How often do we just take in all of what is being said?

Most of you are probably thinking that you are great listeners but I’d like you to think about it.

Generally, when we are told we are great listeners, it’s because we are giving advice. Our advice. We go into our brain and pull out the similar situation, the remedy or the helpful tip.

So, how can we be listening at the same time?

Communication is as much about listening to what is being said as it is about speaking. When we are fully engaged in the conversation, we respond to more than the words. We notice how the person is saying the words, what their face looks like and we can usually tell how they are feeling. This is common with family, friendships, relationships and partnerships.

Just think how much we could learn if we tried this with the people we work with or other people who fill our day. We can do this by making them the most important person in the conversation and giving them all our attention.

Next time, try a little silence in your own head and fully focus on the other person.

You’ll be amazed at how much more you’ll hear and what you’ll learn.