Learn to GROW

Learning to GROW

What are your ideas?  What inspires you?  How can you make your dreams a reality?

We need to GROW!

GROW is about setting GOALS, seeing if they are based in REALITY, exploring our OPTIONS to make them happen and finding the WILL to get it done.

Doesn’t that sound easy?

So, let’s start by seeing what your GOAL is.  What would your goal look like if you achieved it?  Describe it in as much detail as possible.  How will you feel, look, think, talk and work once it’s a reality?

Visualise it.  Live it.

Now let’s look at the REALITY of it.  What do you need to help you make it happen?  You have the idea and with grit and determination, you will find the resources. What are the obstacles?  What have you done about it so far?

Rate the REALITY out of ten.  If it’s eight or above, you’re on the right path.  Anything less, you might need to look at that GOAL again.

Okay, time to brainstorm.

What are the different ways you could approach this?  What resources do you need?  What OPTIONS will give you the most satisfaction?

What else?  What else?  WHAT ELSE? 

Push yourself.  Drain every last drop of inspiration from your mind.

When we have an idea or dream, we might not want to share it.  By sharing, you are creating awareness and taking responsibility.  People will know.  This can give you the WILL to succeed.

Look at the OPTIONS and choose the best one.  (It will be an eight or more out of ten!)  Break it down into small steps and spend 30 minutes a day on it. 

Thirty minutes a day is thirty minutes to GROW an new reality.

You're Beautiful

Why do we judge?  Is it to make ourselves feel better?  If we are putting someone down, does that build us up?  We judge with looks, words and clicks.  The words are done in the most behind the back way imaginable today: people sit and judge from behind their keyboard.  No one is safe.  It’s not just celebrities that should know of our disdain but anyone who posts a photo, comment or article. We judge.

We judge our family, our friends and complete strangers.  We form opinions based on what the person is doing, what they look like or how they talk.  The whole concept of first impressions last is based on a judgement of someone’s face.  Once we decide we don’t like a person’s face, their expression or their body language, that’s it for us.  You have put that person in a box that they will have to struggle to get out of. 

We can get out of that box and we can also take a person out of a box.

I would ask you to stop and think about what you don’t know about the person you are casting aspersions on: the bedraggled woman in the over-washed tracksuit pants could be nursing her newborn child, he woman who no longer comes out and socialises with us could be going through IVF but doesn’t want to let anyone know or the waitress whose English isn’t perfect because it’s the third language she speaks.

We need to work on what a first impression should be.  We need to change it from being one of judgement to a positive thought.  We need to shift our perspective.  Imagine if we all decided to see something positive about a person first.  A non-judgemental thought: that colour really suits her; I can’t believe English is her third language; she’s so brave, fearless, happy, free, open, enthusiastic, brilliant, kind, friendly, funny, engaging, eye-catching, warm… the list of positive things we get to think about a person is endless.  Our first impression is then a positive one and that can only lead to good things.  

Imagine how much happier our view of the world would be.

How to Create a Vision Board

This is something you have to give a bit of time and thought to.  What do you respond to best:  words, images or a mixture of both?  In our digitised world, there is probably an app for that but an app is something you have to make the effort to open and can be ignored whereas a physical board is not so easy to avoid.  

So here are my quick tips for creating a vision board.  If you want more detail, keep scrolling:

1. Visual reminders or pokes in the eye of your map of future plans and goals.

2. Be realistic.  Break big goals into smaller chunks.

3. Make your vision board make you happy.

4. Failure is learning.  Learning is growing. 

5. If you’ve learned something, you’ve already succeeded.  We rarely make the same mistake twice.

6. Use words, people or slogans to motivate yourself.  ‘just do it!’

7. Location, location, location.  Don’t hide your vision board away.

8. Celebrate your success.  It’s good for your brain. 

1. A Vision board is about having something to look at to remind us of our goals.  We are pretty much setting up a map for our future plans.  When we look at photos of holidays we have taken, we feel a physical and emotional sensation brought up by the associated memory.  We want to visualise our plans and goals and feel the emotions that will go with them.  This could be crossing the finish line of a 10km, getting that promotion or learning a new skill. 

2. It’s great to go big but try and be realistic.  If your plan is to run a marathon having never run for a bus, start smaller.  Decide on a 5km race and stick up your race number once you’re done.  That will spur you on to the 10km which is next on your board and keep going and motivating yourself with your previous successes.

3. Make sure your Vision Board is bringing the joy.  Are the ideas and plans working towards a happier you?  Although quitting your job and starting your own business might seem amazing, be sure it is going to bring you joy in the long-term. 

4. Be ready for failure.  Failure just means you’ve learned something you didn’t know before.  This could be that you need more time before running that 10km or that you’ve learned you enjoy spending money on things you enjoy than saving it all for a rainy day.  Change your focus and set a new plan or goal with this new knowledge.  We all fall but getting up is what helps us move on and be better at this game called life.  Motivation is key.  Just like Nike tell you to get out there and ‘Just Do It’, you need to find your own internal cheer squad.  What inspires you?  If it’s a person, put up there name or photo.  If it’s an expression, quote or slogan, write or stick that up too.  Then, when you need the motivation, read the words, look at the image or see the script.   

5. Decide where you are going to put your vision board.  It has to be somewhere you will see it on a daily basis such as your kitchen, bedroom or study.  It could always go right beside the TV as that would definitely be seen.  The size of your vision board and what it’s made of is up to you: corkboard, magnetic, whiteboard, chalkboard or heavy-duty cardboard all work. 

6. How will you celebrate your successes?  How will you use your goals achieved?  It’s important to revel in the moment and enjoy the feeling that comes with doing what you set out to do.  That way, when you look back on that goal you achieved, you can draw on that emotion to know that you’ve done it once and you can do it again.  Yes, you can. 

What are your values?

What is important to you?   What makes you the unique and whole individual that you are?  It’s not an easy question to answer.  You really have to dig deep into what aspects of life are the ones you think: you know what, I agree or I feel comfortable because of x, y or z.

You could sit and write a list of words that you expect that people would like to hear are your values but does that mean you are being true to you?  An easy way to look at what your values are is to think about the things that annoy you, your pet hates and then, think of the opposite: that may be one of your values.

Your boss is the type of individual who places no importance on the people who make up the company you work for: neither customers, nor employees.  This really drives you crazy.  What word would you put on that?  Now, what is the opposite?

You are the type of person who will get up at 6 in the morning to go out and see a sunrise.  You enjoy the solitude of the moment: just you and the colours of the dawn.  How does that make you feel?

Friends know that when you say, ‘I’m going to get that job.’ Or ‘I’m going to pass that exam.’, that you will do it.  There will be nothing that will stand in your way.  You will stay up late, get up early and work, work, work.  What word would you put on that?

Think of all those situations in your life, good or bad, and how they shape the person you are today.  Today is the key word here because tomorrow may bring new values and you could move on from others.  Values are fluid, like life.  You have to go with the flow.

Make the list.  Write it in your phone.  Write it in a notebook.  It’s the first step to finding out what makes you tick.  

6 Steps to Finding Your Core Values

Recognising your core values is a step on the journey to a fulfilling, happy life.  When you live your true values, you feel more contented and less stressed.  How do you identify your values?  Answer these questions to help you on your way to identifying your values today.

Think of these questions in the areas of family, home, work and relationships.

1. What defines your identity?  Think of this in terms of how you see yourself and how others see you.

2. How would people describe you?  If you’re feeling brave, ask them!

3. What motivates you in the different areas of your life?

4. What makes you happy?  Why?

5. What situations makes you feel uncomfortable?  Why?

6. What are the factors that contribute to your stress? 

When you look at your answers to questions 1 to 4, some words and phrases will resonate with you.  List them as these reflect your values today. 

With questions 5 and 6, you are looking at things that are in conflict with your values.  When you are uncomfortable and stressed, you may find yourself in a scenario that conflicts with your core values.  How can you change the situation or factors?

Once you’ve identified your values, think again of the different areas of your life and see if you are living your values.  What can you to do to reflect your core values in your day-to-day life?

Values are fluid so it’s a good idea to reflect on your values regularly so you can be sure you are living your values and to see which ones have changed. 

www.oceancoaching.ie  pamela@oceancoaching.ie  

What is Coaching?

Coaching may be something you’re not very familiar with or have a vague idea about but never really thought you needed.  Coaching is something that I believe everyone deserves.  It is an opportunity for you to be truly listened to and to open up in a non-judgemental and safe space.  I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like to be heard.  Coaching will also challenge you and lead to the change you want to see in yourself.  I do know people who would shy away from this.

Although I won’t be listened to, I want to introduce you to some of the concepts of coaching.  I have decided to coach myself and document it in the form of this blog.  You are more than welcome to come along on the journey. 

What to do?

So, one of the first things you need to do is discover exactly who we are dealing with and why they want coaching.  In my case, I need coaching to give me some direction as my work life identity has changed recently.

Having made the decision to quit the job I had been doing in some form or another for the last 16 years, I need to help myself on the journey onwards and upwards.  I have to decide if I want to leave that whole part of my identity behind or if I can carry some of it with me.

My plan is to break myself down into my composite parts, have a look at the bits and then use those bits to help me with the direction I’m going take.  That sounds so easy that I think I may take the rest of the day off to think about it. 

I might need to look at procrastination too. 

Who am I?

My voice is my power.  My voice gives me the confidence to be who I am.  It is made up of every little bit of me: every experience, every hurt, every happiness, every yes, every no, every failure and every success.

My voice is me.

I wonder if it has taken me a long time to find my voice or has that time passed and now I have the confidence to use my voice.  I feel the latter is true because that voice has always been there.  The voice has sometimes been quiet and there are times when it has been loud that it has been negative.  In fact, when it was at its loudest, it seemed to be always negative.  I had allowed negative thoughts, emotions, and feelings to crowd out my voice.  But I have made a change.

I have made a choice to quieten the negative, the fears and the perceived failings.  I’ve made a choice for the positive voice to shout down the negative.  It’s not a new voice, it is just one that has taken on a new perspective.  I’m permitting the positivity to take over, to be in control; it is time.  The voice is now full of positive language, thoughts and energy.  The ideas remain the same but the words and tone used to express them are more positively weighted.

The power of our words is immense.  Whether they are the words we use to speak with others or the ones we use to speak to ourselves, they have power.  Once we realise this, we can start to harness that power and control the voice.  Our self-talk can be our biggest supporter and will us to succeed, to be the best version of ourselves, to embrace the positivity.

When we control our voice, we take control of our success.  We take control of who we present to the world and how we influence it.